My Life in Red and White

T here remains therefore a rest for the people of God. Hebrews 4:9 Sitting at home and listening to the rain pouring down, the winds howling and the thunder blasting, seeing the lighting crack the dark skies, I am reminded of the state of my heart. Trouble, rumblings, worries, decisions... my storm raging inside a worse picture of that outside my window. Then a word drops in my heart ... "there remaineth a rest". And I am reminded, that there is more to life than worries and sorrows, there is more than excitement and motion, sometimes in focusing on 'doing' we loose sight of who God has called us to 'be'. There may be situations of conflict, turmoil, storms raging within and without... but this promise we have from God, that 'there is a rest for the the people of God'.  This rest is provided for us by God and we choose to enter it... a place of ceasing from all our 'works', from 'doing'; a place of transition to that state of ...

I love my devotional. It's outdated and filled with christian virtues people no longer pursue. It focuses on building strength of character as a christian, dependence on God and complete trust in His will. This is really what I need for daily survival in today's world. But I also love the fact that God uses my dear old devotional to speak to me in amazing ways that are so relevant.  Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend about being at my 'wits end' and so I was going to hand everything over to God. She looked at me, smiled, and said,  'isn't that what God really wants?'  'For us to hand over things to Him from the beginning? and not wait until we run out of steam?'  I smiled back and wondered. Really wondered for a while at her words and the truth behind the simple questions.  We are taught to be independent as children. Raised in a manner that we can 'stand' on our own. Be independent in thought... question, critique, find ou...

Somewhere between the sand dunes and the ocean waves my heart cried out to you. Somewhere between the motions of daily life and the quest for something greater. Somewhere in the middle of trying to find my balance, They say 'it's out there'... but I've been searching for it for a while. Somehow, I needed a break and I went in search of it. Boa Vista... 48 hours of bliss! Lounging on the beach, walking in the sand dunes. Wondering, walking, wandering... Like those diving for lost treasure, in my heart somewhere is a treasure I've lost sight of. A treasure, I had lost sight of. My vision, askew. My focus, dim. A treasure, I had lost sight of. Wondering, walking, wandering.... I called out to You. My heart longed for you, this priceless treasure, the connection I had with you, to hear your voice, To see your face, To walk with you To wonder at you To wander with you To be lost in your awe and wonder. And so my heart called out to you, from its d...

A new year begins,  I have an idea, an outlook, a projection of what the future holds... The year unfolds and slowly and steadily, the picture unraveling differs from what I imagined. Good times, bad times, more good times than bad? I've lost count! Laughter, tears, friends lost, friends gained, friends 're-gained'... Rain, Sun, Snow, Heat! Sun, more heat!!  Happy memories, sad memories, and days that just went by. The year keeps unfolding, and I discover every morning that my projections and plans maybe somehow far from my present reality but it doesn't stop me from dreaming....  I won't stop hoping, I won't stop projecting. Through the rainy days I learnt a valuable lesson - thinking of the sunny days ahead helped me get through. I refused to focus on what was around me, I chose to think of the bright days ahead. Most mornings, I reflected on Jeremiah 29: 11  " For I know the thoughts  and  plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts...

Growth! It happens when you are not aware. One morning, you realize that the things that once had power over you no longer have a hold. You wonder how you got here, but you can't place the exact moment it happened. Growth! Suddenly you are stronger, Suddenly you are wiser, Suddenly you become aware of the strengths you possess. The many times you thought you'd die, you won't survive this, But you got back up again, One foot ahead of the other, and made it through another storm, another dark night, and another... Growth! Sometimes, it happens when you're not aware, Then you are grateful for the rain. the fire, the storm, the silence, All the things that lead you to this place, This place of strength, this place of a 'bigger you', This place of growth.

The many times I miss my father and the strange emotions I feel.  The many times I've wanted to call him excited with some tale,  then I remember, he's not there.  The many things I've seen and I thought to myself "If only Sir could have seen this."  The many memories,  The loving times,  The things that help me pull through tough days.  Your advice,  Your silent approval,  Your side smile.  You built a tough one dad, you and mum. You built a tough one.  I'm weathering many storms thanks to your wisdom.  Building on your foundation, I hope I'll make you proud.  But on days like today when I miss you, I smile to myself cause I know you're smiling down at me.  Beaming with pride.  I'll always love you Sir!

"So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us." Hebrews 12: 1 (GNT) I'm shedding Shedding hair, friends, blood, lies, habits, relationships, I'm shedding Loosing the dead weight from the past [Heck] Maybe I'll loose some real weight in the process, but, I'm shedding If you find yourself in the trash can of my life, it's 'cos you've been shed off I've realised that life's too short to 'fake it' And at the risk of sounding cliche, I want to 'make it', [scratch that] I've realised that dead weight keeps me down. So, while my body goes through this process, My mind will follow suit Shedding Maybe I'll finally realise who I am, maybe I won't  but I've decided, I won't fight it, I'll just go ahead  and shed.