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Conversations

I love my devotional. It's outdated and filled with christian virtues people no longer pursue. It focuses on building strength of character as a christian, dependence on God and complete trust in His will. This is really what I need for daily survival in today's world. But I also love the fact that God uses my dear old devotional to speak to me in amazing ways that are so relevant. 

 Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend about being at my 'wits end' and so I was going to hand everything over to God. She looked at me, smiled, and said, 
'isn't that what God really wants?' 
'For us to hand over things to Him from the beginning? and not wait until we run out of steam?' 
I smiled back and wondered. Really wondered for a while at her words and the truth behind the simple questions. 

 We are taught to be independent as children. Raised in a manner that we can 'stand' on our own. Be independent in thought... question, critique, find out the answers. Be independent... that's the background music in everyone's life. Dependence signifies weakness, dependence signifies disability. 
But GOD teaches us that true dependence on him signifies trust ... and faith ... and love. 

 So now, I've made the decision to be truly dependent on God. Not waiting until my strength runs out before turning to Him. Nope. I'll turn to God on the days when i'm bursting with strength and the sun is shining brightly. I'll turn to God on the days when I'm weak and my body can't handle anymore stress. I'll turn to God on the days when I think I have it figured out and I have a plan. I'll turn to God on the days when I have no plan and I simply want to 'wing it'. 

 No matter the situation, how big or small, wardrobe malfunctions and bad hair days or on the days when my car breaks down and I'm having bad deal breakers, no matter the circumstance, I make the conscious decision to turn to God, everyday, every hour, every minute. 

 Back to my devotional, here's what it has to say about trusting God in the dark.

 "Being perplexed, I say,
'Lord, make it right! 
Night is as day to Thee, 
Darkness as light.
I am afraid to touch
Things that involve so much;
My trembling hand may shake,
My skilless hand may break;
Thine can make no mistake.'
Being in doubt I say,
'Lord, make it plain;
Which is the true, safe way?
Which would be gain?
I am not wise to know,
Nor sure of foot to go;
What is so clear to Thee,
Lord, make it clear to me!"
                                         ------ Streams in the Desert
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